9.29.2011

My Impediment and I

It is so hard to accept
that of which I wish to suppress.
But the longer I do the further I regress...

Stutter? M-Me?
Maybe.
But truthfully, honestly,
sometimes I feel I speak so fluently,
so clearly,
that it’s hard for some to really hear me.

Stammer?
M-mysel...
I appreciate the gesture,
but I can finish that word
without the help.

Confidence
isn’t a common commodity
as this rollercoaster of communication
corkscrews, construes
my view
into seeing myself as an oddity.
How can I feel the same
when I can’t even tell the confused man
who’s shaking my hand my name?

Some may think I’m shy.
I won’t lie.
I see it, too.
I feel the words crack in two.
I want to speak, believe me;
a fluent communication
between me and you.

It’s true.

Within this stammer –
this ruptured rhythm 
that reluctantly results in a rhyme,
please, just give me some time –
I’ll eventually lay down the hammer.

Sparks on steel,
how does it feel
to chip away self-confidence
with every random repetition...
only resulting
in another goddamn humiliation?
Well,
when I look at the mirror,
when I look upon my reflection,
I have to reestablish connection,
and remind myself to take pride in what I see;
we only approach  perfection by accepting our imperfections.

Denotative definitions are only as stated,
and, since I likely can’t say it, anyway,
this impediment will not define me.
This silly restraint will not bind me.

I can’t deny, though,
sometimes I wake up and wonder,
“Will it ever go away?”
Doubt is reintroduced throughout the day.
Ironically, it is I who say:
“Th-this right here is a part of me,
and I sh-should probably stay.”

No need to bury yourself in dismay.
It’s not how you say something that matters, it’s what you say.

21 comments:

  1. Love the rhythm and flow of your words! Found you through twitter. Nice to meet you!

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  2. Every word speaks clearly and the message is loud and clear. I enjoyed reading every line, right to the end. Thank you for linking in at dVerse so we can find you.

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  3. Very nice to meet the both of you! Thank you, it makes me very happy to know that other readers can understand my message.

    And thank you for being on the lookout!

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  4. dude this is hot...would love to hear it spoken word...accepting our own imperfections, def important to truly living..and you nailed this...glad you joined us at dverse...

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  5. What an honest, naked piece of writing. It is presented as very real, sincere, and knife sharp true. Loved the tone and the attitude, the voice. Excellent, stuttering or not. Bravo!

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  6. i can feel you in this...my cousin used to stutter and i know how he felt sometimes.. love your honest write here..we only approach perfection by accepting our imperfections...such a true line. loved this piece from first to last line and so nice to meet you alex!

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  7. Pleased to meet you as well.

    Love your honest writing specially about imperfections and incomplete words or phrases.

    Isnt' it lovely that thru writing, your words come out fluidly..

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  8. Lovely! I appreciate your commitment to length. You mined your points well and the syntax clear. Beautiful.

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  10. you have expressed your emotions fluently,
    thanks for sharing.

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  11. Great poem. Good use of rhetorical questions.

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  12. Beautiful! As a woman who stutters, this deeply resonated with me.
    Stunning expressiveness.
    ~Pam

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  13. great poem dude,i can relate to most of it..

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  14. Very expressive -- great ending -- very universal theme as we all stutter in some way.

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  15. complex issues,
    clearly expressed sentiments.

    Cheers.
    Happy Poetry Picnic.

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  16. love the confidence in your words.
    well done.

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  17. keep it up.

    extraordinary thoughts in poetic form.

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  18. I especially like the part about the words cracking in two. Vivid imagery!


    Coral Lipstick

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  19. I loved this one as well, Alex.

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