6.12.2012

Shards of What Was


Through the wall he could hear the contained, clangorous sound of his sister vomiting into a pan;
through the window, he could hear his dad’s truck peel out the driveway & on down the cul-de-sac.
She cried herself sick; he left.
The sounds entered through different ears & collided in his brain with such force
that an explosion of frustration overtook him in the form of clenched fists & teeth.
The remnants of the blast was evident in his emerald eyes
as he sat in the chair at his desk, alone.
He wanted to move away from it all,
but he knew that wouldn’t help anything.
No, nothing can help when help is not wanted.
“Is she okay?” he asked his mother.
“She’ll be all right. Did he leave?”
“What does it matter? The damage has been done.”
He was wrong.

* * * * * * *

She tended her frantic daughter, calmed her, then retired to her bed.
She looked at the pictures on the walls of a once-shared room.

* * * * * * *

He returned to his desk, put his head in his hands.
Moments later, another explosion:
this one was outside of his head.
He pushed away from the desk, ran toward his mother,
but he was too late.
Shattered glass covered the beige carpet in a thin layer,
like virgin snow on an unsuspecting desert.
Tears & blood mixed in with the shards.
She was not herself.
Rage poured out in stuttering breaths.
Blood trickled down her arms,
the trails coiling around like a double helix.
The images and memories were woven into her being, her DNA.
She did not want them there.
For a few moments she sat cross-legged atop her own destruction,
head bobbing with the sobbing.
She then took notice of the blood,
took notice of her son standing in the doorway.
The memories had been painfully removed from their frames,
from their glass borders.
Maybe now she will finally let them go.
“Clean this up, I’ll get some band aids,” was all he could utter.
On his way out the house, he shut his sister’s door,
sheltering her from the images of her own home.

* * * * * * *

The ending of an end is just another beginning.

54 comments:

  1. Good work. Keep on writing. Keep focusing on images and how they link with ideas and you'll polish your poems more and more.

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    1. Appreciate the praise & advice. Thanks for reading.

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  2. dang that was intense man....surreal even with the mom muttering about the bad aids in the end...vicious write man...and it can be...for sure...gritty in the sounds this one generates...

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    1. Thanks, Brian. Always appreciate your input.

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  3. Powerful write, Alex. You have the honest way with painful words that make a good poet and teller of tales. Very impressive!

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    1. Thank you for the kind words! & thanks for reading.

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  4. yes, very intense, full of the rawness of those emotions that make divorce so difficult.
    "No, nothing can help when help is not wanted." A great line, filled with truth, and I love the protective tenderness of the brother.

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    1. Raw is a great way to describe it. Thanks for reading, Mrs. Anything-But-Mediocrity.

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  5. Sad and powerful write. Nicely done!

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    1. Thanks for the read & the visit, Ayala.

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  6. Interesting viewpoint. The effect of divorce is devastating. When they say marriage should not be taken lightly, that it has grave ramifications, they are telling the truth. One marries a family - two already in existence and the likelihood of a third. When it "explodes" all members are affected.

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    1. Truly devastating. Thanks for the visit.

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  7. Intense write and filled with a lot of emotional truths!

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    1. Thanks for the read & visit, Audrey.

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  8. A great write that (for me) built to this:

    "The memories had been painfully removed from their frames,
    from their glass borders."

    Absolutely powerful.

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    1. That was the pinnacle, nice catch. Thanks for the read & visit.

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  9. So hop[e this is not part of a personal experience. Whatever is: you balanced it beautifully and made it almost too vivid.

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    1. I can only write from personal experience. Thanks for stopping by, Aprille.

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  10. Intense writing, and the ending is good, neither overly done or apologetic. I enjoyed learning its effects through your eyes. I haven't personally experienced it though.

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    1. Thanks for the read & input, Heaven.

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  11. Phew... this hits hard. It's all so real and so intense and more so because it seems you are writing from your own personal experience which makes it all the more powerful.
    Sad but, stunning writing.

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    1. Thank you for the kind words & visit.

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  12. Hey Alex

    Tears & blood mixed in with the shards...

    a tight line brother...

    writing down bad experience,
    kicks that self same experience in the butt, right?!

    Yeah baby! ... contain the pain :D

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    1. Yes, writing is the best therapy at times. It teaches us about ourselves, too. Thanks for the visit & the feedback, Arron.

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  13. Oh, wow. This poem has impact. Well done.

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  14. This poem hits me hard, Lex.
    You know why.

    I love you,
    amazing job this week.

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  15. oh my...what an intensely painted scene alex...made me swallow hard..

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  16. Oh, very intense & vivid...well written, Alex...divorce can be devastating to the kids....awesome piece & good to write from the heart...

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, Louise.

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  17. gritty authentic poem - intense!

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  18. Wow- heart-wrenching, but a fine example of how divorce leaves a trail of destruction through so many people's lives. This is so powerful:

    No, nothing can help when help is not wanted.

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    1. A trail of destruction, indeed. Thank you for the input, Laurie.

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  19. A vivid, viscerally wrenching story. You told it with brutal, but strangely loving, honesty and objectivity. I know these scenes or similar ones, and I think their humanity, the caring tenor of your writer's voice makes yourbwords universally accessible.

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    1. Thank you for the kind words, Charles.

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  20. Wow man- intense as f**k...the way you spell it out has a great narrative style to it- some brutal images here, but reflecting accurately and signifying the pain divorce can bring for all....

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  21. Very powerful and intense write, Alex.

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  22. Wow, this was potent and went straight to my core. There are no pictures of my parents together, my mother burned them all and my father never wanted any.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that. Some relationships turn for the worse, & it's too bad. We don't have to follow in their footsteps. Thanks for stopping by.

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  23. That was an intensely tough read. Excellent job with some very strong images. I really felt the emotion as you transitioned from stanza to stanza. Strong and powerful.

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    1. It was a tough write, as well. Thank you for taking the time to read through it, Shawn.

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  24. You've captured the painful essence of life in a fabulous write!

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  25. glad to have found your blog...

    great piece...

    JJRod'z

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    1. Thanks for finding me, JJ, I appreciate it.

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  26. It's hard to put this experience into words, so thank you for doing so. Now imagine going through this, 6 times throughout your 22 years.. yes 6. After a while, you just become numb. Thankfully, there's always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how many tunnels you must go through.

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that. I wouldn't wish this kind of thing upon anyone. Learn from the mistakes that you've witnessed & become stronger as a result. It sounds like you've done just that. Keep following that light, Rebecca.

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